The text comes in and you can hear the excitement through the screen: “Got an offer!”
But then comes the hesitation. The quieter follow-up. “It’s D3 though.”

As if your child should apologize for a college wanting them
I’ve watched this play out dozens of times in the recruiting process. Families agonizing over division labels like they’re choosing between Harvard and community college. Parents whispering about their kid “only” getting D3 interest. Athletes turning down incredible opportunities because they’re terrified of what people on social media will think.

Let me be clear: if you’re making a six-figure decision based on Roman numerals, you’re doing this wrong.

The Scenario Every Family Should Consider

Here’s a real situation I see constantly:

Option A: A top-20 D3 program offers your kid a spot on their team. The school provides a 50% merit scholarship—about $30,000 per year. It’s strong academically in their intended major. The campus culture feels right. The coach’s philosophy aligns with your family’s values. They would likely see playing time as an underclassman. They may get the opportunity to play for a National Championship. It checks five out of five boxes on their list.

Option B: A bottom-tier D1 program offers a very similar financial package combined athletic and academic scholarship—roughly $30,000 per year. The academic program is good but not exceptional in her field. The campus visit was okay. They would probably redshirt their first year, maybe get limited minutes as a sophomore. It checks two, maybe three boxes.

The Family's Estimated Contribution will be about the same after need based aid and other scholarships.

Which offer should they take?
If you hesitated for even a second because “D1 sounds better,” we need to talk.

The Division Label Myth Nobody Wants to Admit
The dirty secret of college athletics: the competitive gap between top D3 programs and lower-tier D1 programs is often smaller than the gap between elite D1s and mid-majors in the same division.

Take a top-20 D3 lacrosse program. Their roster is filled with athletes who had D1 offers from programs they could have beaten. In baseball, powerhouse D3 programs routinely produce draft picks. In soccer, the best D3 teams would compete respectably against half the D1 conferences.

I’m not suggesting D3 and D1 are identical—they’re not, and the elite D1 programs (Power 4 Schools) are playing a different game entirely. But assuming every D1 program is automatically superior to every D3 program? That’s like assuming every car with a luxury badge is better than every car without one.

The overlap is real. The quality variation within divisions is massive. And the factors that will actually determine your child's experience have almost nothing to do with the Roman numerals on the website.

The Five Things Framework
Before your athlete talks to a single coach, sit down together and answer this question: What are the top five things he/she wants from his/her college experience?

Not what you want. Not what looks good on social media. What does she actually want?
Maybe it’s:
1. A specific academic program or major
2. Meaningful playing time and athletic development
3. Study abroad opportunities
4. A certain campus culture or size
5. Strong career services and internship connections

Or maybe it’s:
1. Proximity to home (or distance from it)
2. A particular geographic region
3. Access to graduate school preparation
4. A balanced life with time for other interests
5. Graduating without significant debt

Whatever their five things are, write them down. Be specific. Be honest. Then evaluate every program—D1, D2, D3, NAIA—against that list.

Here’s the uncomfortable question: If a D3 school gives them all five things and a D1 school gives them three, why would you even consider the D1?

Is the division label really worth sacrificing their academic goals, their financial security, and their overall happiness? Are we optimizing for their college experience or for your ability to say “my kid plays D1” at the office?

The Hidden Costs of Chasing the Label
Let’s talk about what choosing the “wrong” D1 can actually look like:

Time commitment reality:  The NCAA says 20 hours per week maximum. Let’s be honest—add in “optional” workouts,  treatment time, and travel, and you’re looking at 25-30 hours weekly. At a program where athletics take priority over everything else, your daughter’s academic options narrow significantly. That study abroad program? Forget it. That internship opportunity? Not happening during season. That major she’s passionate about? Better hope it doesn’t have afternoon labs.

Roster instability:  The transfer portal has fundamentally changed college athletics. Lower-tier D1 programs are losing players to bigger programs constantly and backfilling with transfers. Your child's playing time isn’t just about beating out freshmen—it’s about competing with 22-year-old fifth-year transfers every single year.

Coaching turnover:  Head coaches at struggling D1 programs last an average of 3-4 years. The coach who recruited your athlete with promises about playing time and development? There’s a decent chance they’re gone before they graduate. And the new coach didn’t recruit them doesn’t owe them anything, and brought their own recruits with them.

The pressure: Athletic scholarships create a transaction. The school is paying your athlete to perform. That changes the dynamic. One bad season, one injury, one new recruit the coach likes better—suddenly that scholarship “might need to be reevaluated.” I’ve watched athletes compete injured because they were terrified of losing their funding. That’s not what college sports should be.

What D3 Actually Offers (When It’s the Right Fit)
Too often D3 gets framed as settling. Like you tried for the varsity team and ended up on JV. That’s not just wrong—it’s insulting to incredible programs and athletes.
Here’s what the right D3 program can provide:

• Academic flexibility: Without athletic scholarships, there’s less financial pressure to sacrifice academics for athletics. Want to study engineering? Do a semester in Spain? Take that unpaid internship? You can actually do it.
• Four years to develop: Nobody’s pulling your scholarship after freshman year. You can redshirt for development without financial consequences. You can have a bad season without fear of losing your funding. You can actually be a student-athlete instead of an athlete who occasionally attends class.
• Balanced experience: College is four years. Your kid will spend maybe 15-20 hours per week on their sport. What about the other 100+ waking hours? The right D3 environment often allows for the clubs, activities, social connections, and experiences that make college memorable.
• Better academic outcomes: Top D3 schools often have higher graduation rates, better academic support, and stronger outcomes for graduate school admissions than lower-tier D1 programs. If your child has any aspirations for medical school, law school, or competitive graduate programs, that matters enormously.
• The alumni network advantage: A tight-knit D3 school with strong regional connections can provide better career networking than a large D1 where your daughter is one of thousands. In 15 years, her college teammate working in her industry will be infinitely more valuable than the name recognition of a D1 school nobody outside the conference has heard of.
  

The Questions That Actually Matter
Instead of “Is it D1?” ask these:
∙ What percentage of athletes in her sport graduate in four years?
∙ What’s the coaching staff turnover rate in the last decade?
∙ Where are graduates from her intended major working five years out?
∙ What does a typical week look like for an athlete in-season?
∙ How many athletes in her sport have competed academically abroad?
∙ What happens if she gets injured—to her scholarship, to her roster spot, to her support?
∙ Can she realistically pursue other interests, internships, or leadership roles?
∙ What’s the team culture around mental health and wellbeing?
∙ Will she be developed as an athlete or used up for four years?

Notice none of those questions have anything to do with division classification.

A Story You Won’t See on Social Media
I know an athlete who turned down almost a full ride (75%) at a mid-tier D1 program to walk on at a top-25 D3 school. No athletic money. Just a small merit scholarship.
People thought she was crazy.

She started all four years. Graduated with honors in a competitive major. Studied abroad. Was accepted to multiple medical schools. Made lifelong friends. Loved every minute of her college experience. And graduated with $15,000 in total debt that she paid off in 18 months.

Meanwhile, two of her club teammates took D1 offers at programs further down the rankings. One transferred after her scholarship was reduced following an injury. The other stuck it out but barely saw the field, struggled academically, and graduated with $80,000 in debt and few happy memories.

Which athlete made the right choice?

You won’t see stories like the first one trending on social media. They’re not flashy. There’s no commitment video with Division I highlights. Just a young woman who made a mature, informed decision that prioritized her actual needs over external validation.

But ten years later, when her D1 teammates are still paying off loans and wondering if the prestige was worth it, she’s thriving.

The Permission You Don’t Need (But I’ll Give Anyway)

If your son or daughter  finds a D3 program that checks all her boxes, offers meaningful financial aid, provides the academic program she wants, and feels like home—take it.

Take it without apology.
Take it without qualification.
Take it without worrying what people who don’t know your daughter, won’t pay her tuition, and won’t live her life think about the decision.

The division label might matter on social media. It might make for a better commitment graphic. It might impress people at parties who don’t understand college athletics.

But it won’t matter at 2 a.m. when their stressed about a paper. It won’t matter when their applying for internships. It won’t matter when their deciding on graduate schools. It won’t matter when their building their career. It won’t matter when their paying back loans—or celebrating that they doesn’t have any.

What will matter is whether they got an education that prepared them for life after sports. Whether they competed at a level that developed their abilities. Whether they built relationships that enriched their life. Whether they had experiences that shaped who they became. Whether they graduated ready for whatever comes next.

Choose the fit. Chase the opportunity. Ignore the noise.
The right program for your son or daughter isn’t the one with the most impressive label. It’s the one where they will thrive for four years and look back with pride for the rest of their life.

That program might be D1. Maybe D2 or even D3. It might be something else entirely.

But whatever it is, choose it intentionally—based on what actually matters, not on what sounds good to people who will never understand the full picture of what made it the right choice.

Your child deserves that level of thought. And frankly, so does the investment you’re about to make in their  future.

"The best college decision isn't the one that impresses other people.

It's the one your daughter won't regret."